I Am Back

Holy Schmidt, what a couple of weeks this has been!!  I got to deliver a boat to Bimini with Quimby.  Despite my incredible b1tching last post, it turns out that Quimby wasn’t bored, he just didn’t want to go out of the country without me.  Particularly with the fellows that were going to deliver the boat with him.  Which, after a nice man to man discussion, I realized was a perfectly understandable reluctance.  Some of these guys are actual felons.  So I was able to clear my schedule, and within short order, run over to Bimini with a “buddy boat” behind us, and ready to take us back.  We got some time with poles in the water, had some rum, got some sun.  Overall, a good time on someone else’s dime.

And here’s where it gets kind of interesting.  As you probably know, since you are no doubt an obsessive follower of mine, I used to be the journalist/editor/publisher/owner of the “North Coast Free Press”, a sh1tty little free newspaper up in Cleveland that would fearlessly break top investigative news stories (when we could get them) and also ran advertisements for a lot of t1tty bars, mortgage refinancing pimps, pawn shops.  The usual.

So I recently got reconnected with my old business manager, a defrocked priest by the name of Milton, and he set me up with an absolutely SWEET deal where I got an all-expenses paid vacation to an extremely exclusive East Coast resort.  Provided I wrote up a rhapsodically good review.  Having once been a journalist, I always wondered what the price of my integrity was.  Well, I once found out in Cleveland that the price of my silence was my life, when I stumbled on a pretty explosive story that was otherwise pretty awesome, but affected some, shall we say, business interests.  I buried that m0therfuc7er pretty quick after being shown a gun and a picture of one of my little girls in the bathroom of the Winking Lizard.

Having found out my price for silence, I have now found out my price for sycophantic praise.  And all it involves is an all-inclusive vacation at a luxury hotel with concierge, dedicated wait staff, masseuse, rooms with views to die for, and an imaginative entertainment director.  Milton owes me, and he owes me big, but he lined me up with this little “journalistic” gig that cost me nothing but my time.  And it was unreal!!  The food, the entertainment, the boats, the fishing, the people watching, all of it was beyond compare.  And all of it was free, provided I wrote up a review to be published under one of my other names in a highly regarded travel review magazine (yes, you’ve heard of it).  However, because I was writing under the other name, I really can’t say more now.  It would be a shame to kill the cash cow.

Well, suffice to say that I am pretty well rested, and ready to jump back in the saddle.  I’ve just been away a long time, and I wanted to let you know that I am back.




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