This site, like pretty much anything, is all about me. In particular, this is my year to get published. Trust me when I say that you are going to help me.
Here’s how it’s gonna work. I’ve got any number of novels in various states of completion and editing. Between ADHD, racing season, court dates, whatever, they never get across the finish line. Not only that, but even if I got an agent and publisher, no one is expecting a book from old Finnegan. It’s a bit out of character. None of my friends or bookies know about it, and even my ex-wives thought I was just surfing p0rn all those late nights on the computer.
Step 1 is the selection of which book to complete. I’m personally into all of them, but the point isn’t just to finish a book. The point is to finish a book and sell it. So you are my own little market focus team. Tell me what works for you. At some point it will be obvious that one book or another is the one to go with. Then we’ll go on to Step 2.
Step 2 is editing the book. Here is where you get to play pinata with good old Finnegan and his works. Do my sentences run on and on? Do you think it works better in first person or third person? Do you want more of something, and less of something else? Is some chapter unnecessary and need to go? This is a group effort, where you help me get the book in a shape and format where it can be sold.
Step 3 is marketing the book; which really runs concurrent to Step 2. You tell all your friends about this project, in person and online. Blog and re-blog it. Ask them to weigh in. Send out emails to everyone you know. Facebook it. Tweet it. Brag about how you’re helping out good ol’ Finnegan. Tell them you know me. Tell them we used to be drinking buddies in college, or the Army. Or we used to date until you caught me kissing your sister. Or that we met in the holding tank at the Baltimore City Jail. I don’t care, I won’t confirm or deny it. You gotta help make this Finnegan’s Year. The more outrageous, the better.
Step 4 is selling the book. This may be the traditional route, through an agent, or it may be online. Smashwords or Scribd or whatever. One of you minions may play a key role in getting this one done, in case you can get me a first rate letter of introduction. But you all have an indispensable part in this; buying whichever book we decide to sell. I can’t stress this enough; when the time comes, you need to just open up your wallet and shell out the $4 or $12 or whatever it’s gonna cost. Just skip a fast food meal and eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich if you’re tight on cash. I’m really not asking much.
At this point, you’re probably laughing your a$$ off and asking what’s in it for you. There are plenty of benefits. First, this is truly charity. You get to help out a hard luck case who has a ton of alimony and child support to pay. If you help me, you are gonna help feed three single mothers and 14 kids under the age of 21. That is no mean feat!
Next, this is your chance to be part of the creative process. Sure, you could do something yourself. Write your own book, paint a landscape, or make some music. But let’s face it, you are too busy screwing around on the internet to even bake cookies or play catch with your kids. I am offering you the chance to become part of something big; writing a book. You can be a critic, an editor, a muse. Re-draft a paragraph or ten. You don’t just have a choice in selecting an end product, you can actually help build it. You can literally shape a work that may the next great American novel. That’s probably the best offer you’ll get all day!
Finally, this gives you something real to talk about. If you’ve stumbled onto this site, you clearly have too much time on your hands. You’re probably the kind of yenta that makes endless Facebook posts about how you love coffee, and what you had for breakfast, and how you couldn’t find your car keys and were late for your Spin class. Nobody really gives a sh1t, not even you. So here it is; finally something real to talk about. You are helping write a novel. You are somebody in the art world. Bare your soul, and give me your Facebook followers.
I’m gonna be honest here, and tell you up front that all you’re gonna get for helping me are those intrinsic goods listed above. Your posts and comments will be up here as long as the site is live, so you can certainly keep the recognition. Brag away! But as for money, t-shirts, bumper stickers….not likely. Don’t say you weren’t warned.
Here is where you get started:
With Sincere Thanks,
*You might chalk up this scheme to my natural brilliance, but truth be told, this is part of the playbook from “The Essential Guide to Getting Your Book Published”, by Arielle Eckstut and David Henry Sterry. You can find them at http://www.thebookdoctors.com They said it a lot nicer than me, and they probably wouldn’t use you, but you’re on my site, not theirs. So you should expect it. If you want to go to their site, please link through mine. This helps with site popularity and all that internet stuff.